Discouragement

I have not found much time to blog lately. Not that I haven’t had time, but that I have had nothing to say. I still have not heard anything from the stake. I submitted that missing test to them I think three weeks ago now, but still have not received a call to meet with the stake president. I have been getting more and more. . . discouraged. upset. confused. worried. I think there must be something wrong. Maybe it is just a lack of faith on my part and a trial that I need to endure, but I have been struggling with my decision to go on a mission for the past week or so. It seems like I have done all I could, made sacrifices and still nothing. When the school wanted me to apply for the Rhodes scholarship, my dream since I was little, I was able to turn it down, because I knew that I was going on a mission. Same with when they asked me to apply for the Fulbright. Or when my Hebrew teacher told me that she could more or less ensure that I got a scholarship to spend the summer in Israel learning Hebrew. I was firm in my decision. But now. . . time has been my greatest enemy. I feel like I am getting old and have accomplished nothing in my life. I am sitting watching the world spin past, getting closer to dying and I am just waiting for a phone call.

It’s been rough.

Sorry for the whiny post.

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About gwenogjones

I am a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, serving for 18 months in the Korea Busan Mission (as of September 7, 2011). I have a fanatical obsession with Snape and the Harry Potter series (in that order), I recently graduated from university majoring in Near Eastern Languages and Civilizations (Arabic). Prior to this major, I was working towards a degree in Jazz Saxophone performance; ergo, I love music. I also love reading, writing, painting, spending time with my friends, playing soccer, watching movies...the usual types of things early 20-somethings enjoy.
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2 Responses to Discouragement

  1. Megs says:

    I love you!

  2. gwenogjones says:

    Love you too. Here’s a little update: I got a call on Saturday from the Stake Executive Secretary and we scheduled my appointment for tonight! Then I got a call last night. . . and we postponed my interview until Sunday at a time still to be determined. Oh joy! At least I have more time for homework. . .

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