Done. Today I took my final final, at least as an undergraduate. It feels so surreal and hasn’t really set in yet. No more tests, homework or classes. From the time I was five and in preschool, my whole life has been arranged around school and my studies. Now it’s all gone. I’ve been looking forward to graduating for years, but now that it is here, I feel strangely empty and lost. What will I do? What is my life without being a student? What have I accomplished? What am I doing with my life?! I am going on a mission. Yes, but I still feel so. . . out at sea, I suppose. How do I define myself now? What does my degree get me?
As I was writing my last final, I was very grateful that it was for Arabic–the whole reason why I came to UW three years ago. After I was done, I looked back on the pages of Arabic and couldn’t believe that I had learned so much of this language. But then I realized I know about as much as a six year-old–if a six year-old knew the names of very few household items but could talk about “developing bilateral economic cooperation” (no joke, that was one of my vocab phrases). In essence, I know nothing.
Other than that, the day was pretty good. I went to lunch and gelato with Tayler, sat in on the sisters’ lesson with a guy who is getting baptized tomorrow and went with Joylyn, Heather and Katie to Melina’s production of “Fiddler on the Roof.” So many cute kids! And it was gorgeous. And warm! So I guess I can’t complain. I’ll figure it all out later, but for now it is enough to go to bed and know that I don’t need to stress about assignments, tests, presentations or pulling all-nighters.