There are twenty days left until I enter the MTC and stop being Jenessa and become Sister (언니) Markland instead. What have I done to get ready? Am I prepared to be a fulltime representative of Christ and His Church? What am I going to do in the next three weeks so that I can be the most prepared? If you know me at all, you’ll recognize the signs: I am freaking out!
Things that I have accomplished:
-all my shots
-Typhoid pills (ugh!)
-speaking in parent’s ward (my first real adult talk–where there are just two speakers to cover the whole of the meeting after the Sacrament)
Hmmm. Yeah, that is it.
Things that I have NOT accomplished:
Including but not limited to:
-shopping (pretty much no shopping has been done)
-transferring bills out of my name
-finding a roommate replacement
-writing my farewell talk for U3
-setting up an appointment with the stake president to get set apart
-watching The District 2
-saying goodbye to friends
-writing various thank you cards
I am not looking forward to saying goodbye. At all. I will cry. And this is especially bad because me crying sounds like a wild animal–I am not a dainty cry-er. Also, it doesn’t make my eyes look all lustrous and dewy, thereby enhancing my natural beauty and flawless complexion (HA!). Alas, I get red, puffy and splotchy. Just how I want all of my friends to remember me.
Tomorrow, Mel and I are hanging out with Tayes. I will see her on Sunday at church, but this will probably be our last hang out together. Her and Jeanette leave this week for their three-week holiday in Spain. When she gets home, I will be gone. It doesn’t seem right somehow, that she is one of the first to whom I must say goodbye. Ahhh! Leaving is hard.
In other news, Elder Bottema’s blog was updated with about seven posts! This is great, as the last post was from May. Bottems, if you ever read this, yes I am a creepy stalker who likes to keep tabs on all of my friends. And your blog is my one source of finding out about all my missionary buddies. Anyways, so I went through and got inspired by all of Elder B.’s awesome insights. One thing he wrote really struck me:
“If I ended my mission after today’s work would I feel accomplished? Would I feel like I did what I should have done?”
He mentioned how he wishes that he has asked himself that every day of his mission. Well, great! I am going to steal it. I will add it to my retinue of things to ponder while I am out working in my tiny part of the vineyard. I don’t want to come to the end of my mission and regret a single day. Perfect obedience, diligence, hard work and the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. I am not setting a number of lessons or baptism goal for my mission as a whole. I have faith in the Lord and His ability to soften the hearts of the children of men unto repentance and the acceptance of the Gospel, but my mission will be hard. It is not a mission that sees a lot of baptisms. I don’t want to set unreasonable goals for myself–success isn’t measured in numbers. I could go my whole mission without a single baptism, and if I have been perfectly obedient and diligent and worked as hard as I could and been given over to much fasting and prayer, my sacrifice will still be acceptable to the Lord. Of course I want to be the tool that the Lord uses to bring many of His sheep back to the fold, but if that isn’t what He has planned, I will still be the best instrument in His hand that I can be. That is true success.
I also want to master the Korean language. And develop a love for kimchi.