UFOs, Sasquatch, Conspiracies, Advanced Wizarding Theory, Men on Horses

My life is an Old Spice commercial.  Seriously.  My life could not possibly, no, not even probably, better be.  Why?  1)  I’m a missionary serving the Lord among His very choice children in the most beautiful country in the world.  2)  Our ward and investigators are all hilarious.  And mostly because of 3)  My most perfect and amazing companion Sister Wallace.
 
Sister Wallace is one of my best friends ever.  I love her so, so much.  What other sister missionary would wake up at six to run to the church with our wooden swords to do battle for our exercise?  Who else but Sister Wallace would re-inact entire television series to me?  Besides my companion, who else would delve deep into the weird mysteries of the world:  such as UFOs, Sasquatch, other conspiracy theories (she knew about the Philidelphia Project/Project Rainbow!!), and spend hours talking about Harry Potter and the rules of magic as outlined by J.K. Rowling and how that world could totally relate to our world in a gospel context?  Who else would repeatedly hit me with her stuffed manatee while singing 40s jazz songs at the top of her lungs to try and get me to stay awake?  Who else could be as perfect for me as Sister Wallace?  Answer:  no one.
 
We have too much fun.  There have been many times where we’ve fallen out of our chairs laughing.  Last night I accidentally made her laugh so hard while she was eating that she shot a watermelon seed out of her nose.  Which just made us laugh harder.  We love life, each other, and missionary work.
 
Because it’s not just that we have crazy great fun and a ton of in-jokes, but we are having more success in the work than I’ve had at any other time on my mission.  We have several investigators, we have contacts, we have appointments, we are busy!!  But we have oh-so-many good times along the way.  There are too many in-jokes to count.  Life is good!

So this past week over a couple of days, we had had a very in depth discussion about aliens, etc.  We thought this was just a fun talk, but no, it was so much more.  (Just remember this as I now move on to a story).
 
A few weeks ago, we received a phone call from the Seoul Mission’s clerk.  He gave us a referral–ish.  He said that there was a Filipino recent convert who had just moved from the Seoul area to Gumi.  He said that she was awesome and that her husband had received all the lessons but had not been baptized.  Needless to say, we were pretty excited to meet with her.
 
Due to a series of events, including a death in her husband’s family, we’d not been able to meet with her until this past Friday.  In a story in and of itself (a bus, two taxies, and the middle of nowhere Gumi), we finally met with her.  In her super swank apartment (her husband, a Korean, is in management at LG).  She is 29 (Korean age), but seems more like a teenager.  She was married at 18.  She has two children (a boy 8 and a girl 6) and seems like a really good mom.  But her life is full of these rich people problems.  She told us all about them.  And Sister Wallace and I would just turn to each other mouths agape as we listened to her littany of woes, wishing that our problems were so simple and unimportant (not that I’m judging her – I’m aware that her problems were important to her; they’re just not things that my poor self could ever grasp).  We also found out that she was not a recent convert–she was baptized in 2006, but has been less-active for the past two years.
 
She has a lot of struggles with the gospel which I won’t detail here, but she is more like an investigator than a member.  There are a lot of gaps in her knowledge of the gospel.  But she is eager and willing to learn and really wants an eternal family.  Which is a great start.
 
So while we were talking and trying to teach a lesson, it became readily apparent that she has adult ADHD. She cannot focus on one thing for very long at all.  In the middle of me trying to teach about repentance, she interrupted with, “Sisters, can I ask you a stupid question?”  Sister Wallace and I just sort of turned to each other with a “here we go” type of look.  We, of course, told that she could ask us anything she wanted and that if she had a question it wasn’t stupid.  Neither of us were prepared for what came out of her mouth next.

“What do you think about UFOs?”
 
Sister Wallace and I turned to each other with big eyes.  Was she seriously asking this?  I tentatively told her that as far as I knew the Church didn’t have an official stance on UFOs and that we could only speak as Sister Wallace and Sister Markland as individuals and then we told her that we both believed that UFOs (i.e. extra-terrestrial life) exist.  She then clarified her question.
 
“But if UFOs are real, that means that there is no God, right?”
 
What?!  Umm….I asked her what she meant.
 
“Because if I get killed by a UFO, there can’t be a God, because that wouldn’t be just or merciful to let me get killed like that.”
 
We then talked a little about how Heavenly Father has created other worlds and it stands to reason that there are other people on these other worlds, but as to whether these people were coming to earth we could not say with any amount of religious authority.
 
But then Sister Wallace provided the following, which was hilarious to me at the time (and still is), but she later assured me that she was acting under the direction of the Holy Ghost.
 
“There may or may not be UFOs in the world.  But as a representative of Jesus Christ I promise that Heavenly Father will not let you get killed by a UFO.”
 
She was greatly reassured by that.  We were then able to resume our lesson.  We left with a return appointment and on good terms, in case you were wondering.

We now feel somewhat justified in spending so much brain power talking about weird things–clearly we are just further preparing to help strengthen others’ testimonies of Christ and His restored gospel.  We’re waiting for our Big Foot and Harry Potter debates to pop up in a lesson.
 
Then on Sunday night as we were placing a Book of Mormon and getting a contact we were almost run over by a Korean mounted on a lovely Arabian horse, just galloping down the path.  I’m pretty sure he fell instantly in love with Sister Wallace before he regained control of his horse and turned down towards the river and galloped off into the distance.  He was probably Sister Wallace’s soul mate or something.  He stared at her quite intently before tearing his gaze away and reigning in his steed.  It was a pretty magical end to our week.
 
The conclusion is this:  my life is awesome.  My companion is the best person ever, we are sharing the gospel and serving our brothers and sisters,  I live in Korea, I laugh a lot and only cry a little.  

Look at your life then back at my life.  Last night we saw a Korean on a horse.  ‘Nough said.

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About gwenogjones

I am a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, serving for 18 months in the Korea Busan Mission (as of September 7, 2011). I have a fanatical obsession with Snape and the Harry Potter series (in that order), I recently graduated from university majoring in Near Eastern Languages and Civilizations (Arabic). Prior to this major, I was working towards a degree in Jazz Saxophone performance; ergo, I love music. I also love reading, writing, painting, spending time with my friends, playing soccer, watching movies...the usual types of things early 20-somethings enjoy.
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One Response to UFOs, Sasquatch, Conspiracies, Advanced Wizarding Theory, Men on Horses

  1. CJ says:

    Well, I think we never did talk about aliens or UFOs, but if I had known that interested you I could have totally started in! I guess I always assumed you and MK were more fantasy than sci-fi-inclined, but now I know the truth. Even awesomer Sister Markland…even awesomer.

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